5 Things Girls Do Before They Have $ex With You

I imagine that preparing for highly anticipated se x is a lot like planning a fancy dinner party. I don’t cook, so I may never test the validity of that hypothesis, but both involve a lot of painstaking planning, timing, and meticulous work. I’m sure some women are mature and self-actualized goddesses who don’t feel the need to shave, groom, or do anything before they get naked and touch another human being that they really, really want to touch. I am not one of them, and I’d like to formally salute the other anxious ladies in this world with this one.

1) We shave.
2) We tweeze and wax.
3) We tell our friends we’re going to have se x with you.
4) We think about it.
5) We plan.